Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Catching my Breath:Part 6- "Now What"
I'm not sure if I can make you understand what's going on inside of me but I keep writing because I want to transfer my feelings and experience to people, I want to show you something special to make you smile to make you go Wow...Let's go! Now what; I tell you now what.I have been back at work since last Feb. at full throttle. One can only imagine at times while at the brink of disaster how things can possibly be turned around and in a split second; just a split second everything plays in your favor. This is my story...or at least for now. I wake up every morning around 5:15 am; I sit still for a second and take a big breath...BIG BREATH! I take my vitals and go straight for the toilet...Ah! little pleasures of life. Once I've done some waste management I go back to weigh myself. This is part of the process involving taking my vitals but I'd rather weigh myself after my W.M.S(waste management session) for accuracy you know. Most consistently I would get myself ready to hit the gym by 6/6:15am and kick a 1 and half hour work out that includes, a half hour to forty five minutes of cardio and the rest with some stretching and weight lifting. I should be at work by 8. Again I say most consistently because there are days where I just want to kick it, make some coffee and wait for the girls to wake up. It's a lovely thing to see and I look forward to it every time I make that choice. I have been actively playing and making music. I have developed a keen sense for playing trap and have gone as far as to assemble a beautiful set..it's so therapeutic just banging away in true rock n roll fashion completely uninhibited and wild!!! I love it. I have been doing great stuff with my family - camping trips, rafting, fly fishing, rock climbing. I'm also riding my bike to work twice a week for a kick ass 16 miles(8 in and 8 out). This something I'm very proud of and it feels freaking amazing!! I mean can you imagine that nine months ago I was hooked up to an Oxygen concentrator and waiting for a lung transplant; can you say Crazy! I can. Nothing is mundane these days as I soak every minute of every hour with boundless appreciation of the moment. Even as I injured myself last month while climbing; which I wrote about on my last post. That experience itself made me feel so alive. There I was just like anybody else paying the price for playing hard and loving it. I maintained a focused frame of mind and I brought myself back in the game. There's no time to waste this time around! My life is in full motion. I can't even crop a future plan its just wide open. I still find myself at times trying to process what I have gone through. I've been thinking about trying to get in touch with the family of my donor but I think I will wait for the year to be complete. This is something I have been really contemplating. I also keep thinking of what kind of work I'm going to be doing to give back to this amazing journey and learning experience. I definitely want to become an organ donor advocate and get involved with some organization regarding the need to create awareness and to encourage people to get involved and become organ donors themselves. One thing I think about everyday is how my life has been touched by that action and the effect that took upon my family and I wish for the process to become something natural for people; for them to believe that they will become an extension of something greater than the life they live or we live for that matter. I still wish to keep being a donor myself and continue to live by example. Just had a birthday last Friday and look forward to many more; nothing seems impossible these days. As the future can be uncertain I keep my frame of mind in check and visualized one day at the time; this allows me to maintain a cadence and I don't skip a beat. In September will be a year since the transplant and it will be a mile stone as well as the beginning for the foundation of the years to come. I have learn so much about myself; I can't wait to find the best vehicles to transfer knowledge, motivate and inspired people. I'll be back with more notes, I'm getting ready for some doc visits and some final tune ups regarding my Scleroderma. Keep on coming and following the blog this is just getting better. I want to Holla at my dear friend Ethan Pringle for the awesome article on the recent 277 Climbing magazine issue and of course to Andy Outis for the magic and Climbing mag for the amazing support. I'm back in the saddle and cracking full time again. One love, Rowan