Saturday, May 31, 2008
In the midst of all keeping myself at peace and with a positive outlook has not been full of therapies and mental exercises; honestly I have a natural instinct in me that taps into the most basic needs. Sound is one of those needs and the music in me is more than ever wanting to come out. Although I have had to put things in hold due to my condition I was lucky enough to have had recorded quite a bit of those sounds last year that by now I can find myself with plenty to do behind a mixing board.I want to send a big shout out to my brother, partner in crime and music producer Juan Manuel Caipo for enabling me to keep creative; for all his love, guidance, patience and amazing talent.
"Quattro " is a music project I envision in late 2006. A few years ago while I picked up a cuatro( not pun intended ; but pun intended) which is a traditional Venezuelan four string guitar I started teaching myself some Simon Diaz tunes and just kind of brisking through cords while strumming wildly suddenly I felt I could write some original stuff keeping the integrity of the instrument and so I began exploring. I started pouring myself into it. One thing led to the next and everything was in front of me. Of about tent songs 4 of them became the pinnacle of what would become "Quattro" and over all what this number started to represent. I live my life passionately by my four senses; touch, smell,taste and site. April of last year Kaya had turn 4 and towards the end of the year my brother Arnoldo had passed away; he was just 46. He was the 4Th of six kids me being the 5Th.
By now this number has taking a special and profound meaning and these four songs definitely carry a special sentiment. Not all the final mixes are done but as I get closer I want to share then with you. I hope they inspire you and take you places. I want to thank everyone that has send me their words of love and support; you guys rock and make me want to keep on rockin'. Take a listen jimenezmuzik
Stay in touch!
One Love, Rowan
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Believe it or not just because I'm going through what I'm going through does not mean I can also get lost in my own selfish patterns of what I think is important to me and just go about doing that and nothing else. Well is a bit more complicated for me I guess, as one of those things I've been doing a lot is taking it easy. Yep just straight up taking it easy. Rest is provably one of those things I need to do the most these days and I have to be creative in the many ways I go about it. Yeah I've been watching some TV, I won't lie is really easy to lay down and chill but man what happen to TV is crazy!
How many reality shows can possibly exist? I even have fantasize of pitching my own reality show. I mean I'm not looking for my flavor of love, don't want to become a Latin Rap Star(they haven't pitch this one yet..they got Viva Hollywood; the search for the newest soap opera Latino Star host by Maria Conchita Alonzo....Ay Dios mio!!!!), my pets are well behave, don't need a super nanny, don't need to go to rehab. I really need to think this one; what would I call my reality show? Let see; Looking for my 9Th life? Fat Chance, Iron Lung, Spare a Breath.....see I have lots time in my hands while I'm resting these days. I love the animal channel too and find the Soup to be hilarious.
Any how; the catheterization exam went well. It was quite an experience and was definitely a bit painful. The results were good, not clogged arteries, nice working valves, and the pressure on the right side of my heart was not significantly severe that it would be in any way a cause of trouble for diminishing my chances of candidacy. I believe we are looking really good. Regarding my esophagus, the doctor explained to me that the best way to go about it would be via surgery. At this point I need to wait for the medical team to met and discuss whether this will be done prior or after transplant.
The other day I got really exited as I received a box from the Immunogenetics Transplant Lab requesting a sample of my blood by not later than June 10Th. A small note in it read: This is in order to to consider you for any lung offers we may receive in your behalf. I called and ask my transplant coordinator what did that meant and was I officially accepted it in the club?
As they getting you pretty close to enter the list they start collecting these samples on the monthly basis as it can not be older that a month in order to find the appropriate match. Again to me this is only an indicative that I'm closer that ever and the thought of it has me very exited but again; I must remain focus and keep my mind in check as there's still lot of hard work ahead.Thanks for hanging in there I
hope all is well.
PS: Let's think about that name eh; think reality mets documentary...that would be a good way to make some funds and create awareness!!
One Love, Rowan
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Lately as I slowly and fiercely bleed out who and where I'm today I have began to look at people differently. I'm not judging people or creating this vague understanding of who they are. I'm putting people in a open space. Not everyone feels confident enough at times to reveal their true self and believe me when I say it took a while for me to get where I'm. I have told you; at times I was so pissed off at the card I was dealt I would be in a funk for hours, and I'm not talking about James Brown funky, I'm talking about foul funky.
I would pull myself together, rewind my attitude and press play again. It took a minute for me to realize the amount of energy I was wasting and how inefficient my mind was working. When I when public and started to reach out to people; feeling vulnerable made me stronger and I now have an incredible balance.
Looking at people on an open space has giving me even more balance. As I started to get responses I started to pay attention and decided that no matter how they came into this new space I was in I was going to make sure I keep it open. I have found some of my friends or people have become distance, not present at all or become more present than ever.
I guess this are moments where these things resonate the most and in my case, it has been the goal not to expect everyone to feel the same but in one way create some awareness on how friendship impacts our lives and how the true value of reality can upset each individual perception and either makes you react or completely shut down. Understanding this has been amazing, specially now.
Wanting to write about this got fire started by a conversation with some people and friends, some who were interested in known if everyone I new had become aware of my situation and if they had contacted me. If I cared to hear from people or if I was scared. All of this I put in perspective and my answers were, no I did not care if people answered; my goal was to let everyone know where I was, open my space and let them know they were in my mind and not I'm not scared.
I'm going to ride this Jaw size wave like a champ until is over, stop swimming to reach the shore take a deep breath and go wow. Some of you may clap and cheer, some of you may had keep looking from the distance and say; the dude made it let's keep rolling. I know now life is made up as you go and everything you touch and come across becomes a part of it, that's what makes you who you are.
I'll have more updates in the weeks to come, so far I got nutting but sunshine!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Simple pleasures of life, that's all I want to achieve as I patiently wait and swim with the flow of this process. The O2 is working great and I'm feeling pretty energize. I've been busy at work and so my mind has been a little off set but I think this weekend I'll be writing about some pretty interesting thoughts and some conversations I had with people. Life is a crazy place but boy is beautiful!