Rowan on Climbing with Scleroderma by Chris Bloch

Video Documentary - Episode 1

I'm still Juiced!!!

Hi Beautiful People,

I keep meeting people through the internet; via my blog , facebook and just people I have come across while surfing the net (one of the time killer things I do on the daily). It's really amazing; the stories of some of these people are very invigorating and really inspiring however; at the same time I have come across some pretty sad stories. This situation has at times bring me to the edge of both spectrums and at times takes me to the "what If's".

I won't lie to you; I have some days where experiencing despair is inevitable; I mean no matter how much positive energy I try to focus on and try to generate for my actual reality I do end up coming across the entrance of what I call the black tunnel. This is why I keep a flash light in my hand; that is my spirit. Somehow this brings me back to a safe place a serenity space where I can call all the shots and view my choices. I'm choosing to fight and to stay alive; I'm determined to stay focused and to visualize my future. I'm a husband, a father an artist a climber but most importantly I've always been a dreamer.

I believe that dreams come true when you are focused and invested in your life on making them happen. I'm fully invested, I'm focused and I believe. I feel for some of the sad stories I've read and I'm glad that they bring perspective to my own story not withstanding I guess we are lucky in our very own way. I'm lucky to be here right now and I'm lucky to have the oportunity to regain my life though this experience. I will continue to stay on the same page, taking one day at the time, one breath at a time and one smile at a time.

Killing Time!

I like to show you how I'm killing time lately












Let me think about this for a minute....











Alternative use of this device!

















But what it really boils down to...it's all in the Mind!








I'm still waiting...I know it has not been long but.....still it sucks!! Thanks for being out there.

Peace and Love, Rowan

"Breaking News; Any day Now"

Hi Beautiful People,

I had not been writing for a while as my mind was very preoccupied with all kinds of things, mainly the financial aspect of this challenge. Even thou my wife had taken full responsibility of handling all the communications with the bodies involved and addressing the funds I could not separate myself from the fact that this was a crucial aspect of getting listed and so I went into a downward spiral of discouragement and questioning the reality of all possibilities.

Understanding that lack of money could have potentially thwarted the chances of giving someone the opportunity to continue living is a hard concept to grasp; but unfortunately we live in a world where money plays an incredible role in certain freedoms and in this case to be able to financially afford this opportunity.

I want to give thanks to everyone, dear family and friends, who played a role in the past weeks and that somehow held it together for me, you know who you are and G-pops you are the man. I want to specially thank my wife for being such an amazing human being. Until death due us part was too quick too soon and Heather has shown me she was not ready for that and had put herself so out there to fight for our chance to continue living life to the maximum; I'm now more than ever inspired to keep on going. I'm officially listed and any day now I could be called in; it is as exiting as it is scary because this is just half of the battle. Its a beautiful day!

I met yesterday with Dr. Golden and it was thus far the best meeting yet through the whole process; he was so personal and went so carefully through my history he gave me nothing but kudos and busted my confidence. I've learned I dropped some more of my diffuse capacity which is definitely making me move a lot slower than before and therefore I'm also feeling tired as my body struggles to keep up however; I'm still on my feet and believe it or not I have managed to gain some weight; about 7 pounds. I find this to be remarkable and it is my intention to stay this way until I'm called in for transplant. To all of you out there thanks for keeping me inspired and for all you are doing; whether you are e-mailing me once in a while, getting involved with some of the events soon to take place to keep raising funds or just plain being present; believe your every ounce of energy counts and I will be forever grateful.

Peace and Love, Rowan

Count down before Blast off!!

What can I say at this point, way too many thoughts in my mind to compress in some paragraphs but I'll do my best to bleed it slowly but definitely not all at once. Next week I'll be turning 40; most men probably find themselves at this point trying to come to grips with the reality of getting old. The big 40 its a bench mark, if you played it right the big 40 is a pinnacle. I did for the most part. I heard a quote many years ago while listening to a Silvio Rodriguez record; finding these words so profound and inspiring I later used this same quote to start a song on my own record back in 2001 while releasing OriXa's/2012 Elegua Digital.

"There are men that fight one day and are good; there are some men that fight one year and are better but there are those men that fight all their lives. Those are indispensable men"

Turning 40 for me is giving me that sentiment; I'm going to fight for the rest of my life. Surviving the tale from my current situation so I can write the next chapter and share it with the future will be one of many.

I'm facing other issues at my 40's; most importantly I'm not worry about how old I'm getting but rather how much more time I'm going to be given to tap the wealth of life and actually get old. Yes man one of the things I've been thinking lately is how I'm looking forward to that; getting old. To get old with the woman I have come to love more than ever because through it all she's shown me we were meant to mate for life. To see my daughter grow and attack her own life the way I have attacked mine in pursuit of adventure and love. To see her find her passions and exploit them. To cherish every moment and to hold my family on the highest pedestal.

I have now officially learned that I will be listed for lung transplant. This has been a big accomplishment not withstanding what still lays ahead, the hills to come are going to be steep and not easy to climb but my fighting spirit is ready and I will strategically knock them one by one. Please check out all the information regarding my donation fund and do your best to get involved and spread the word among your own circles of friends to reach out. Visit the JimeneZ site at my space for some ear candy and keep rooting for me as I enter the octagon of the UFCFL(Ultimate Fighting Championships for Life). I won't let you down; I've been training for this all my life!!

Love and Peace, Rowan

Hard Work/ About to begin

Hay Beautiful People,

I want to begin this blog with some thoughts and a epiphany. We are all in death row; yes we are all going to die some day.

We can not control when we land and when we at times suddenly have to go but we do have some kind of control over the choices we make in between. I have been given a second chance while in death row. I was in my boxed life and my sentence was delivered. For a moment execution time kept lurking by a near corner and unexpectedly I had an appeal to regain another chance at the fabulous opportunity to be alive. Being alive is such a complex endeavor but being dead, how complicated can that be? I have been confronting my own mortality for several months now and I started to laugh. Yes for as morbid as it sounds I was laughing and that laughter resonated so hard that's when I realize; I've been playing my own life world cup and the ice breaker pass had been thrown at me to kick the ultimate goal and win seconds shy to ending the first half.

Even though I have always played hard this epiphany has made me realize so many things. There's so much I want to do, so many people I like to reach; having the opportunity to go at it for a second half I will make sure to play with much more devotion and freedom, with much love and passion. Is with this note I want to acknowledge all my friends and family, all my team mates and partners in crime for keeping the faith and cheering me for what's to come in my second go.

By next week I will officially be listed to receive a lung transplant at UCSF; I will be meeting with the medical team, transplant coordinator and the financial office to get all the paper work necessary to close the deal. Again there's yet much more work ahead. Waiting can take anything from 3 to 6 months. There's has been cases when this takes only weeks(I would love for that to be my case so keep your fingers crossed) but I need to be realistic and stay focus. My goal is to maintain, maintain, maintain my physical shape and stay mentally on line.

Soon I will be sending some e-mails to all my network as I also will began preparation for fund rising and creating an account where all donations will go for the purposes of enabling me to cope with the cost of the whole process. More details on this subject to come. In the meantime keep the love high, hold fast as we're going for a ride.

Love, Rowan

"Hasta la Victoria Siempre" Che

PS: "Hold Fast; Here We Go" Rowan playing hard in Fontainbleu-France 2002
picture by Randy Puro