Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The more vulnerable you become the more you can feel. I tell you for a while dealing with these whole thing was not so much a task but it was taking quite a bit of energy. Not wanting to feel vulnerable and wanting to appear strong now have the same meaning instead of two completely different things.
I went public at work today, after assessing all I needed to continue working and presenting it to my HR dept and my own personal department we were all cool. I had a concentrator delivered at my office and named it RjO2; I now understand why Luke Skywalker always had R2D2 by his side. I tactically installed the O2 tubes to allow me free mobility while using my computer and working desk. I sent a blast to a selected group of people; I mean MHW has become such of big company I now barely know half of the people however; I was lucky enough to start working there with the OG's of the company and I feel myself as an OG too. I e-mailed every OG I new.
The result was truly amazing. The sentences were brief but full of positive vibes; some could not believe I was in the middle of what most people would consider a highly lethal fire zone, fully vulnerable but there I was dogging the bullets with a smile, fearless and accurate movement. I open myself to be vulnerable, to feel pain and to release and instead turned into this massive ball of energy that is bouncing off everything that its being trown at it. I can't explain it but one thing is for sure I'm feeling strong...it is possible the extra oxygen has to do something with it; but really the more I expose myself the more capable I feel.
Tomorrow the doc's have a meting to discuss various cases and mine is provably one of then. When you go to bed tonight visualize me with a new set of lungs and if we ever went climbing, playing music, dancing together awhile back(I don't know I use to do all kind of crazy stuff ) make yourself vulnerable enough so that you can have a really strong feeling that we'll be doing that again; I know I will.
Keep on Rocking!
Much Love, Rowan