Count down before Blast off!!

What can I say at this point, way too many thoughts in my mind to compress in some paragraphs but I'll do my best to bleed it slowly but definitely not all at once. Next week I'll be turning 40; most men probably find themselves at this point trying to come to grips with the reality of getting old. The big 40 its a bench mark, if you played it right the big 40 is a pinnacle. I did for the most part. I heard a quote many years ago while listening to a Silvio Rodriguez record; finding these words so profound and inspiring I later used this same quote to start a song on my own record back in 2001 while releasing OriXa's/2012 Elegua Digital.

"There are men that fight one day and are good; there are some men that fight one year and are better but there are those men that fight all their lives. Those are indispensable men"

Turning 40 for me is giving me that sentiment; I'm going to fight for the rest of my life. Surviving the tale from my current situation so I can write the next chapter and share it with the future will be one of many.

I'm facing other issues at my 40's; most importantly I'm not worry about how old I'm getting but rather how much more time I'm going to be given to tap the wealth of life and actually get old. Yes man one of the things I've been thinking lately is how I'm looking forward to that; getting old. To get old with the woman I have come to love more than ever because through it all she's shown me we were meant to mate for life. To see my daughter grow and attack her own life the way I have attacked mine in pursuit of adventure and love. To see her find her passions and exploit them. To cherish every moment and to hold my family on the highest pedestal.

I have now officially learned that I will be listed for lung transplant. This has been a big accomplishment not withstanding what still lays ahead, the hills to come are going to be steep and not easy to climb but my fighting spirit is ready and I will strategically knock them one by one. Please check out all the information regarding my donation fund and do your best to get involved and spread the word among your own circles of friends to reach out. Visit the JimeneZ site at my space for some ear candy and keep rooting for me as I enter the octagon of the UFCFL(Ultimate Fighting Championships for Life). I won't let you down; I've been training for this all my life!!

Love and Peace, Rowan

Hard Work/ About to begin

Hay Beautiful People,

I want to begin this blog with some thoughts and a epiphany. We are all in death row; yes we are all going to die some day.

We can not control when we land and when we at times suddenly have to go but we do have some kind of control over the choices we make in between. I have been given a second chance while in death row. I was in my boxed life and my sentence was delivered. For a moment execution time kept lurking by a near corner and unexpectedly I had an appeal to regain another chance at the fabulous opportunity to be alive. Being alive is such a complex endeavor but being dead, how complicated can that be? I have been confronting my own mortality for several months now and I started to laugh. Yes for as morbid as it sounds I was laughing and that laughter resonated so hard that's when I realize; I've been playing my own life world cup and the ice breaker pass had been thrown at me to kick the ultimate goal and win seconds shy to ending the first half.

Even though I have always played hard this epiphany has made me realize so many things. There's so much I want to do, so many people I like to reach; having the opportunity to go at it for a second half I will make sure to play with much more devotion and freedom, with much love and passion. Is with this note I want to acknowledge all my friends and family, all my team mates and partners in crime for keeping the faith and cheering me for what's to come in my second go.

By next week I will officially be listed to receive a lung transplant at UCSF; I will be meeting with the medical team, transplant coordinator and the financial office to get all the paper work necessary to close the deal. Again there's yet much more work ahead. Waiting can take anything from 3 to 6 months. There's has been cases when this takes only weeks(I would love for that to be my case so keep your fingers crossed) but I need to be realistic and stay focus. My goal is to maintain, maintain, maintain my physical shape and stay mentally on line.

Soon I will be sending some e-mails to all my network as I also will began preparation for fund rising and creating an account where all donations will go for the purposes of enabling me to cope with the cost of the whole process. More details on this subject to come. In the meantime keep the love high, hold fast as we're going for a ride.

Love, Rowan

"Hasta la Victoria Siempre" Che

PS: "Hold Fast; Here We Go" Rowan playing hard in Fontainbleu-France 2002
picture by Randy Puro

Almost There?

Hello Dear Friends,

I hope all is well with you out there; for some of you in the Bay Area I hope you had a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather in the past week. I really wish I could get my butt to the beach but it would require quite a bit of work however; I've been able to enjoy it in different ways, stepping into the garden and chilling out in a hammock and yes I had a couple of Mojitos and a few beers. At least for now I can still enjoy a bit of those vices as it all may change after surgery. Here's my latest findings.

You'll be glad to find out as much as I was that my heart is strong as bull; even thou my right side has enlarge a little due to the pulmonary hypertension created by the condition the doctors found no reason to prescribe any medication and lifted the the flag on my cardiovascular condition as to be of no problem while under going lung transplant surgery.

Everything else is also OK as per all my results have shown the rest of my body is doing well. My GI track still may need some work however; they may do this after surgery if need be as there is the possibility that medication can help the reflux. I have lost another 6 to 7 Lbs due to the way my body burn calories but I'm planing to attack this by stuffing myself more with protein shakes between meals and just eating like there's no tomorrow, I'm still working and very mobile so it is not an alarming situation as is all part of what my body is going through; I just don't want to let it go because I need to be as strong as possible before surgery. So to all my chef friends come on over and cook me a meal whenever you want!!!

I had the chance to met Dr. hoops the pulmonary surgeon yesterday; it was brief but nice. We did not talk much as it was kind of a drive by introduction while crossing paths in the clinic's hallway and we did not have an official appointment to met. The transplant team will be meting in 2 weeks to finally go through all my results and discuss the final details before putting me on the list. I have to be honest I can't help but feel impatience at times but considering the amount of time it has taking me to get to this point it has not been long and everything has so far gone in the right direction; patience is a virtue and I have to be humble about this opportunity.

You have to understand something here; for a dude like me that is so hungry for life chewing my days and hours under this sluggish period can be agonizing at times. I have to say I'm learning a whole a lot about appreciation and the true value of what at any given moment we have while we here. I love my family more than ever and I'm so privilege to have them. True friendships harvest the fruitful values for what they were planted and love shows up in you doorstep in many forms. I'll keep moving forward and I hope you follow me all the way as I look forward to celebrate life with you all.

Peace and Love, Rowan

Cliche or Not; Music is Saving my Life!

In the midst of all keeping myself at peace and with a positive outlook has not been full of therapies and mental exercises; honestly I have a natural instinct in me that taps into the most basic needs. Sound is one of those needs and the music in me is more than ever wanting to come out. Although I have had to put things in hold due to my condition I was lucky enough to have had recorded quite a bit of those sounds last year that by now I can find myself with plenty to do behind a mixing board.I want to send a big shout out to my brother, partner in crime and music producer Juan Manuel Caipo for enabling me to keep creative; for all his love, guidance, patience and amazing talent.

"Quattro [4]" is a music project I envision in late 2006. A few years ago while I picked up a cuatro( not pun intended ; but pun intended) which is a traditional Venezuelan four string guitar I started teaching myself some Simon Diaz tunes and just kind of brisking through cords while strumming wildly suddenly I felt I could write some original stuff keeping the integrity of the instrument and so I began exploring. I started pouring myself into it. One thing led to the next and everything was in front of me. Of about tent songs 4 of them became the pinnacle of what would become "Quattro" and over all what this number started to represent. I live my life passionately by my four senses; touch, smell,taste and site. April of last year Kaya had turn 4 and towards the end of the year my brother Arnoldo had passed away; he was just 46. He was the 4Th of six kids me being the 5Th.

By now this number has taking a special and profound meaning and these four songs definitely carry a special sentiment. Not all the final mixes are done but as I get closer I want to share then with you. I hope they inspire you and take you places. I want to thank everyone that has send me their words of love and support; you guys rock and make me want to keep on rockin'. Take a listen jimenezmuzik

Stay in touch!

One Love, Rowan

We are all Busy!

Hello There,

Believe it or not just because I'm going through what I'm going through does not mean I can also get lost in my own selfish patterns of what I think is important to me and just go about doing that and nothing else. Well is a bit more complicated for me I guess, as one of those things I've been doing a lot is taking it easy. Yep just straight up taking it easy. Rest is provably one of those things I need to do the most these days and I have to be creative in the many ways I go about it. Yeah I've been watching some TV, I won't lie is really easy to lay down and chill but man what happen to TV is crazy!

How many reality shows can possibly exist? I even have fantasize of pitching my own reality show. I mean I'm not looking for my flavor of love, don't want to become a Latin Rap Star(they haven't pitch this one yet..they got Viva Hollywood; the search for the newest soap opera Latino Star host by Maria Conchita Alonzo....Ay Dios mio!!!!), my pets are well behave, don't need a super nanny, don't need to go to rehab. I really need to think this one; what would I call my reality show? Let see; Looking for my 9Th life? Fat Chance, Iron Lung, Spare a Breath.....see I have lots time in my hands while I'm resting these days. I love the animal channel too and find the Soup to be hilarious.

Any how; the catheterization exam went well. It was quite an experience and was definitely a bit painful. The results were good, not clogged arteries, nice working valves, and the pressure on the right side of my heart was not significantly severe that it would be in any way a cause of trouble for diminishing my chances of candidacy. I believe we are looking really good. Regarding my esophagus, the doctor explained to me that the best way to go about it would be via surgery. At this point I need to wait for the medical team to met and discuss whether this will be done prior or after transplant.

The other day I got really exited as I received a box from the Immunogenetics Transplant Lab requesting a sample of my blood by not later than June 10Th. A small note in it read: This is in order to to consider you for any lung offers we may receive in your behalf. I called and ask my transplant coordinator what did that meant and was I officially accepted it in the club?

As they getting you pretty close to enter the list they start collecting these samples on the monthly basis as it can not be older that a month in order to find the appropriate match. Again to me this is only an indicative that I'm closer that ever and the thought of it has me very exited but again; I must remain focus and keep my mind in check as there's still lot of hard work ahead.Thanks for hanging in there I
hope all is well.

PS: Let's think about that name eh; think reality mets documentary...that would be a good way to make some funds and create awareness!!

One Love, Rowan

Am I Scared?

Dear Friends,

Lately as I slowly and fiercely bleed out who and where I'm today I have began to look at people differently. I'm not judging people or creating this vague understanding of who they are. I'm putting people in a open space. Not everyone feels confident enough at times to reveal their true self and believe me when I say it took a while for me to get where I'm. I have told you; at times I was so pissed off at the card I was dealt I would be in a funk for hours, and I'm not talking about James Brown funky, I'm talking about foul funky.

I would pull myself together, rewind my attitude and press play again. It took a minute for me to realize the amount of energy I was wasting and how inefficient my mind was working. When I when public and started to reach out to people; feeling vulnerable made me stronger and I now have an incredible balance.

Looking at people on an open space has giving me even more balance. As I started to get responses I started to pay attention and decided that no matter how they came into this new space I was in I was going to make sure I keep it open. I have found some of my friends or people have become distance, not present at all or become more present than ever.

I guess this are moments where these things resonate the most and in my case, it has been the goal not to expect everyone to feel the same but in one way create some awareness on how friendship impacts our lives and how the true value of reality can upset each individual perception and either makes you react or completely shut down. Understanding this has been amazing, specially now.

Wanting to write about this got fire started by a conversation with some people and friends, some who were interested in known if everyone I new had become aware of my situation and if they had contacted me. If I cared to hear from people or if I was scared. All of this I put in perspective and my answers were, no I did not care if people answered; my goal was to let everyone know where I was, open my space and let them know they were in my mind and not I'm not scared.

I'm going to ride this Jaw size wave like a champ until is over, stop swimming to reach the shore take a deep breath and go wow. Some of you may clap and cheer, some of you may had keep looking from the distance and say; the dude made it let's keep rolling. I know now life is made up as you go and everything you touch and come across becomes a part of it, that's what makes you who you are.

I'll have more updates in the weeks to come, so far I got nutting but sunshine!!

Peace, Rowan

One day at the Time!

Simple pleasures of life, that's all I want to achieve as I patiently wait and swim with the flow of this process. The O2 is working great and I'm feeling pretty energize. I've been busy at work and so my mind has been a little off set but I think this weekend I'll be writing about some pretty interesting thoughts and some conversations I had with people. Life is a crazy place but boy is beautiful!